2 Samuel 13:19
ESV
And Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore. And she laid her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went.
NIV
Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went.
NASB
Tamar took ashes and put them on her head, and tore her long-sleeved garment which was on her; and she put her hand on her head and went on her way, crying out as she went.
CSB
Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long-sleeved garment she was wearing. She put her hand on her head and went away crying out.
NLT
But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying.
KJV
And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying.
NKJV
Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly.
What does 2 Samuel 13:19 mean?
Tamar is the only daughter of one of the most powerful kings in the region. She should have been married to a prince, or at least a nobleman. Instead, she has been violated, humiliated, and shamed. She will never marry or have children. As the culture would define it, her life is already over.Amnon, her half-brother, raped her. As he grabbed her, she tried to reason with him: "As for me, where could I carry my shame?" (2 Samuel 13:13). Where can she go? She can't be married to another. As far as the culture is concerned, she's defiled.
As Tamar goes home, she takes on signs of mourning. She rips her long robe: the robe only worn by daughters of the king (2 Samuel 13:18). She puts ashes on her head. She apparently has no veil with her, so she puts her hand over her head.
Tamar doesn't try to hide what happened to her. There's no use delaying that message. By rights, her father should force Amnon to marry her (Deuteronomy 22:28–29). If he doesn't, Amnon should be declared dishonorable, as a man who refuses a levirate marriage (Deuteronomy 25:5–10). David is angry, as expected. But he does nothing. A version of the Septuagint found in the Dead Sea Scrolls suggests David doesn't act because he loves Amnon, his firstborn (2 Samuel 13:21).
In that culture, especially in a polygamous family, the girl's father isn't always her greatest champion. Her full brothers consider her honor as part of their own. This was the case when Dinah was attacked. Jacob did nothing, but Dinah's brothers destroyed a city (Genesis 34). And it's the case here. Absalom finds Tamar and takes her into his house. He then plays a long game that will allow him to avenge his sister as well as his own honor (2 Samuel 13:20, 28–29).
