2 Samuel 13:13 - Printer Friendly

What does 2 Samuel 13:13 mean?

ESV: As for me, where could I carry my shame? And as for you, you would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you."

NIV: What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you."

NASB: As for me, where could I get rid of my shame? And as for you, you will be like one of the fools in Israel. Now then, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.'

CSB: Where could I ever go with my humiliation? And you—you would be like one of the outrageous fools in Israel! Please, speak to the king, for he won’t keep me from you."

NLT: Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.'

KJV: And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.

NKJV: And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.”

Verse Commentary:

Tamar is the daughter of David's wife Maacah, but she's as smart and bold as Abigail (1 Samuel 25:32 – 34). Like Abigail, she's trying to keep a man from making a fool of himself and doing her irreparable damage. But the man Tamar faces isn't her father David, on his way to kill an offensive fool (1 Samuel 25:10 - 11). It's her brother Amnon, who's trying to force himself on her sexually.

Amnon manipulated Tamar, under the guise of a fake illness, to come alone, close enough to his bed to grab her. She has begged him not to violate her in this depraved way (Leviticus 18:9).

Tamar attempts to get Amnon to think about the consequences of his actions. For her, that means a ruined life. The sad truth of this era was that a young woman who lost her virginity outside of marriage was typically considered unworthy of marriage. Aside from the loss of potential marriage and children, an unmarried woman would need to be supported by her family for the rest of her life, if they would have her at all.

Another point to consider is Amnon's own future. Instead of being respected as the likely crown prince of Israel, he will become known as an incestuous rapist. The word for "fools" here means men without honor and unworthy of respect. It's the description given to Eli's infamously wicked sons (1 Samuel 2:12) and the depraved mob that attacked a concubine in the era of Judges (Judges 19:22).

Finally, Tamar attempts to delay Amnon, with what might be a clever trick. She tells Amnon to ask their father David to give her to him in a legitimate marriage. She suggests that David will agree. This seems unlikely, but it may have been possible. As the firstborn son, Amnon may have been David's favorite. It was against the Mosaic law to marry a half-sibling (Leviticus 18:9–11; 20:17; Deut. 27:22). But Abraham and Sarah had the same father. For Tamar, the weight of the cultural shame of not being a virgin but being unmarriable would be worse than breaking the Law. In the moment, she may be hoping that this will deflect Amnon's lust so she can escape.

In honor-shame cultures, even today, women are often considered shameful if they have had contact with a man outside of their family. They're considered irredeemable if they have had sex, even with a husband their families don't approve of. At times, even the modern western church can apply overwrought concepts of shame to women and girls, even those who have themselves been abused. There's a lingering sense of dirtiness, dishonor, or immorality attached.

This is a lie. A girl or woman who has been sexually assaulted may no longer be a virgin physically or legally, and she may even lose the honor of her culture. But she has not lost the honor of her God. Her self is innocent and clean. Rahab (Joshua 6:17) was a prostitute. She had sex with many men. And she was David's great-great-grandmother and the ancestress of Jesus.

Second Samuel 13:7–19 explains how Amnon makes himself a fulfillment of a curse God placed on David (2 Samuel 12:10—11). Using the ruse of being sick, Amnon has his half-sister Tamar alone and vulnerable (2 Samuel 13:1–6). She tries to reason with him, but he's far stronger. Once he's satisfied himself at her expense, he finds her disgusting and sends her away in shame. To her, the rejection is even more painful than the is a crime worse than the rape: she has been violated and will never marry or have children. Her brother Absalom will avenge her by murdering the rapist (2 Samuel 13:22, 28).

Chapter Summary:

In this chapter, God's curse that the sword will strike David's house (2 Samuel 12:10) begins to emerge. David's firstborn son Amnon lusts over half-sister Tamar. Tamar fights back, but Amnon first rapes her and then rejects her. David is angry but does nothing. Two years later, Tamar's full brother Absalom murders Amnon. Three years after that, Absalom returns and becomes the enemy in David's house who takes his wives in public (2 Samuel 12:11–12; 15:1–16; 16:21–23).

Chapter Context:

This begins fulfillment of some of God's curses against David (2 Samuel 12:10), and sets the scene for others (2 Samuel 12:11–12). David's oldest son, Amnon, rapes his own half-sister, Tamar. Her full brother Absalom murders Amnon, starting a five-year campaign of vengeance against David. By the end, two of David's sons will be dead, his daughter will be desolate, and David will be deeply humbled (2 Samuel 14—19).

Second Samuel continues the story of David, who will become king over Judah. The other tribes of Israel are resistant, eventually sparking a civil war. David wins and makes Jerusalem his capital. Early success is followed by moral failure and controversy in David's house. The book of 1 Kings will begin by detailing David's decline and death.

Accessed 4/22/2026 10:39:31 PM