What does Proverbs 19:13 mean?
ESV: A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife 's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.
NIV: A foolish child is a father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof.
NASB: A foolish son is destruction to his father, And the quarrels of a wife are a constant dripping.
CSB: A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a wife’s nagging is an endless dripping.
NLT: A foolish child is a calamity to a father; a quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping.
KJV: A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.
NKJV: A foolish son is the ruin of his father, And the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.
Verse Commentary:
Some principles in Scripture are phrased in male terms but apply to all of mankind. Many parents have experienced the brutal pain of watching their children pursue foolish, ungodly paths (Proverbs 4:1–4; 10:1; 17:2). When the child's choices are especially wrong, it can "ruin" the parents. That is usually true emotionally, but a child's actions might bring social shame and financial hardship on their parents, as well. Later in this chapter, Solomon will speak about the overtly abusive child who directly harms his own family (Proverbs 19:26). A foolish person has no regard for God (Proverbs 3:11; 10:17). He rebels against the spiritual training given by godly parents (Proverbs 15:5).
Solomon also observes that a disagreeable spouse can be a source of constant misery (Proverbs 21:9). The Hebrew word used here is a reference to arguments, stress, and bickering. The imagery of rain here implies something like a leak in a roof, rather than rain in general (Proverbs 27:15). Spouses don't have to be overtly abusive to bring misery into a marriage. A constant "drip" of negativity, arguing, unhappiness, criticism, or other irritations can become toxic. The picture painted here is the opposite of how the apostle Peter presents the ideal of marriage: dwelling together as partners in the grace of life (1 Peter 3:6–7).
Verse Context:
Proverbs 19:8–21 continues Solomon's observations about wisdom and foolishness, a king's wrath, household turmoil, and human plans as compared to divine sovereignty. A theme of these proverbs is the danger of ignoring godly wisdom, while placing too much reliance on one's own ability. A wise person is prudent, diligent, and honest. At the same time, wisdom means realizing that not all plans work out.
Chapter Summary:
Several themes are associated with these statements. Among them are the idea that personal integrity is worth much more than earthly wealth or success. Solomon discusses the unfortunate habit of favoring the rich and dismissing the poor, while commending those who care for the unfortunate. Many references are made to the consequences of foolish behavior, including the shame and punishment such things can bring.
Chapter Context:
This series of proverbs is part of Solomon's writing on wisdom (Proverbs 10:1), a long chain continuing into chapter 22. As do other segments, this speaks on the harsh realities of poverty, the need for integrity, the dangers of laziness, the value of loving discipline, and the consequences of acting foolishly.
Book Summary:
Proverbs is best understood in context with the books of Ecclesiastes and Job. In Proverbs, “wisdom” is given in short, simple, general terms. Ecclesiastes represents wisdom based on observation and experience. This often shows how the general principles of the book of Proverbs don’t apply in absolutely every circumstance. Job represents wisdom based on the experience of suffering and injustice. All three come to the conclusion that God does indeed know best, and the most sensible course of action is to follow His will.
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