Proverbs 23:13 - Printer Friendly

ESV: Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.

NIV: Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.

NASB: Do not withhold discipline from a child; Though you strike him with the rod, he will not die.

CSB: Don’t withhold discipline from a youth; if you punish him with a rod, he will not die.

NLT: Don’t fail to discipline your children. The rod of punishment won’t kill them.

KJV: Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

NKJV: Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.

This verse and its counterpart (Proverbs 23:14) follow the biblical teaching of proper child discipline. Other proverbs noted the same general idea: that appropriate loving discipline trains a child to avoid evil, sparing them from greater suffering later in life (Proverbs 3:11–12; 5:23; 13:1; 19:18; 22:15). As with all proverbs, this is a statement of general truth—of common sense—not an absolute guarantee. Even diligent parents can experience the heartache of wayward children. Yet, in general, parents who raise sons and daughters with loving correction set those children up for success (Proverbs 22:6). Unruly children tend to become unruly adults, who face adult consequences such as prison, violence, disease, and addiction.

Although Solomon mentions the use of a rod or stick, the literal object is not the point. Nor is the meaning of this verse that physical discipline—known as "corporal punishment"—is required. Whatever form of discipline suits the individual child and the individual situation is what's best. A disciplinary measure that works well for one child may not work well for another. A spanking, for example, may deter one child from repeating an immoral behavior. Another child may become enraged and not learn from corporal punishment, while responding quickly to loss of privileges.

Loving, sincere parents may protest that they "love" their children too much to discipline them. Yet this only trains the child to expect a world without consequences—a world which does not exist. A parent who genuinely loves the child should recognize the need for reasonable discipline and apply it accordingly (Hebrews 12:6).

Proverbs 23:12–21 lays out more of the thirty wise sayings which Solomon recorded for others to hear (Proverbs 22:17–21). Verses 12 and 19 repeat the call to heed wisdom. The following helpful statements touch on child discipline, personal integrity, caution about one's companions, and the benefits of listening to godly parental advice.

This portion of wise sayings (Proverbs 22:17–21) starts with the sixth of thirty mentioned in chapter 22. These include advice on presenting oneself well to a host, while not being unduly influenced by such hospitality. The passage also speaks on the right time to share wisdom, ethics, discipline, and the joys associated with godly children. Also included are warnings about relationships and those who lack self-control. The chapter ends with the Bible's most strident warning about the dangers of alcohol abuse; this is the eighteenth of the thirty promised teachings.

This chapter continues Solomon's collection of the sayings of wise men (Proverbs 22:17–21). These lessons continue through Proverbs 24:34. Here, Solomon addresses his "son," perhaps meaning a student, with warnings about money, gluttony, speaking in the company of a fool, dishonesty, withholding discipline from a child, keeping company with drunkards, and the abuse of alcohol. The description of alcohol's risks is the most extensive such caution given in Scripture.

Proverbs is best understood in context with the books of Ecclesiastes and Job. In Proverbs, “wisdom” is given in short, simple, general terms. Ecclesiastes represents wisdom based on observation and experience. This often shows how the general principles of the book of Proverbs don’t apply in absolutely every circumstance. Job represents wisdom based on the experience of suffering and injustice. All three come to the conclusion that God does indeed know best, and the most sensible course of action is to follow His will.