What does Proverbs 30:23 mean?
ESV: an unloved woman when she gets a husband, and a maidservant when she displaces her mistress.
NIV: a contemptible woman who gets married, and a servant who displaces her mistress.
NASB: Under an unloved woman when she gets a husband, And a female servant when she dispossesses her mistress.
CSB: an unloved woman when she marries, and a servant girl when she ousts her queen.
NLT: a bitter woman who finally gets a husband, a servant girl who supplants her mistress.
KJV: For an odious woman when she is married; and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress.
NKJV: A hateful woman when she is married, And a maidservant who succeeds her mistress.
Verse Commentary:
Agur introduced this section by referring to ideas which create instability and chaos (Proverbs 30:21). His broader point was about inserting someone into a situation for which they are not prepared. The first involved a slave becoming king: someone with no knowledge or experience of ruling suddenly gaining power. The second was a wisdom-deprived "fool" (Proverbs 1:7, 22) experiencing material comfort, furthering their insensitivity to God's will.

The third thing identified as extremely unsettling is an unloved woman who gets married. The implication is a woman who feels rejected or scorned, causing her bitterness. When she eventually finds a husband, she may carry that cynicism with her. Or she may be prone to lashing out at those who ignored her in the past. Or the arrangement may be a disruption to family dynamics, which were extremely important in a communal society like Israel. Leah, the first wife of Jacob, seems to have been such an "unloved" woman (Genesis 29:16–17). Her father tricked Jacob into marrying her (Genesis 19:25–26). Seeing that Leah was unloved, God gave her children. Rachel, Jacob's preferred wife, was barren (Genesis 29:31). A rivalry between the sisters ensued, even including their maidservants and their children.

First Samuel 1:1–8 informs us that Hannah was barren. Her husband, Elkanah, loved her, even giving her a double portion at the annual sacrifice. Elkanah's other wife, Peninnah, provoked Hannah "grievously to irritate her." As a result of the insults and her barrenness, Hannah wept and would not eat. However, she did not take revenge on her rival. Instead, she carried her burden to the Lord and asked him for a son (1 Samuel 1:9–11).

Agur also points to turmoil caused when a female servant "displaces" the master's earlier wife. This may carry the sense of a scandal, resulting in hurt feelings and infighting. Hagar and Sarai are somewhat of an example of this type of situation. When Abram and Sarai continued with no child, Sarai gave her maidservant Hagar to Abram to bear a child. When Hagar conceived "she looked with contempt on her mistress." Sarai "dealt harshly with her, and [Hagar] fled from her." The angel of the Lord met Hagar in the desert, and she returned to Abram and Sarai (Genesis 16). Abram and Sarai, whose names were changed to Abraham and Sarah, did conceive and give birth to a son named Isaac (Genesis 21). After Isaac was weaned, Sarah saw Hagar's son mocking her son, "So she said to Abraham, 'Cast out this slave woman with her son, for the son of this slave woman shall not be heir with my son Isaac'" (Genesis 21:10). Rivalry seems inevitable when two women share the same husband. Other examples in this section have hinted at unprepared persons suddenly thrust into power. The "mistress" of a house was expected to be responsible and oversee affairs of the home (Proverbs 31:30–31). If a young servant were unexpectedly put in charge of the home, her inexperience would create uncertainty.
Verse Context:
In Proverbs 30:15–31 Agur (Proverbs 30:1) gives several numerical observations. He lists four things which never lead to satisfaction, only increased desire. Another four ideas are said to be "wonderful," here meant in the sense of being hard to grasp. Next are four examples of the dangers of putting people in sudden positions of power. Then, four seemingly humble animals who achieve great tasks. The last is a series of examples showing the "stately" nature of confidence.
Chapter Summary:
This chapter contains the teachings of Agur, who is only known through this passage. Humility and a sense of one's own limitations are key themes in this section. Agur prays for God's providence and warns about the sins of arrogance, greed, and rebelliousness. He marvels at how the ungodly can sin without care, not realizing their fate. He then notes the way some insignificant animals accomplish great things and comments on the effects of confidence. The chapter ends with a reminder that stirring up anger leads to trouble.
Chapter Context:
This chapter falls between a collection of Solomon's wise sayings (Proverbs 25—29) and King Lemuel's proverbs (Proverbs 31). Chapter 30 contains the wise sayings of Agur, who is otherwise unknown. He may have been the son of Jakeh. His teachings are called an oracle: a weighty message from God. Humility and warnings about arrogance are recurring themes in this chapter.
Book Summary:
Proverbs is best understood in context with the books of Ecclesiastes and Job. In Proverbs, “wisdom” is given in short, simple, general terms. Ecclesiastes represents wisdom based on observation and experience. This often shows how the general principles of the book of Proverbs don’t apply in absolutely every circumstance. Job represents wisdom based on the experience of suffering and injustice. All three come to the conclusion that God does indeed know best, and the most sensible course of action is to follow His will.
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