Proverbs 31:3 - Printer Friendly

ESV: Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings.

NIV: Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings.

NASB: Do not give your strength to women, Or your ways to that which destroys kings.

CSB: Don’t spend your energy on women or your efforts on those who destroy kings.

NLT: do not waste your strength on women, on those who ruin kings.

KJV: Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

NKJV: Do not give your strength to women, Nor your ways to that which destroys kings.

Other proverbs warn about the dangers of lust, adultery, and distraction (Proverbs 6:24–25, 32; 23:27; 25:28). In this passage, a mother (Proverbs 30:1–2) provides advice to her son. That begins with a caution about the dangers of inappropriate relationships. The warning given here is not to "give [one's] strength to women." In this context, that means not making desires or distractions a weakness or expending excessive time and energy pursuing them.

This is not an idle threat, by any means. Lemuel's mother notes that this exact mistake has ruined kingships. David's involvement with Bathsheba brought pain and misery to the rest of his life (2 Samuel 12:9–10). Ahab's marriage to Jezebel (1 Kings 16:31) added only idolatry and corruption (1 Kings 21:7–10). Even Solomon, who recorded so much biblical wisdom, was pulled away through his weakness for women (1 Kings 11:1–4). Human history overflows with examples of kings, emperors, rulers, and politicians ruined by adultery and "weakness" for sexuality. Many others have failed due to other vices, such as greed or a lust for power.

In the following lesson (Proverbs 31:4), Lemuel's mother will refer to drunkenness. Just as addiction to sex makes a leader weak and vulnerable, so too does dependence on alcohol or other substances. The result of those distractions is a ruler who fails to properly protect the rights of the weak (Proverbs 31:5).

Proverbs 31:1–9 contains several teachings echoed previously in this book. The wisdom is related by King Lemuel, as told to him by his mother. This is not the first time a mother's teaching has been mentioned (Proverbs 1:8; 6:20; 30:17). The counsel is a good setup for the rest of the chapter, which is an acrostic poem celebrating the virtues of a wise, industrious, godly wife and mother.

This final chapter fits well with the rest of the book of Proverbs. It reiterates subjects found elsewhere in these lessons. Of note is that the entire chapter is connected to godly women. Topics include the importance of godly parenting, morality, righteous treatment of the needy, justice, and diligence. The first section are the words of King Lemuel's mother. The last is the famous depiction of an "excellent wife," exhibiting ideal traits of diligence, godliness, and competence. That description is arranged as acrostic poem: each verse begins with a consecutive letter of the Hebrew alphabet.

Proverbs chapter 31 comes after a long list of Solomon's teachings (Proverbs 25—29) and the words of Agur (Proverbs 30). This final section is connected to two women: the mother of King Lemuel and the ideal of a godly, "excellent" wife. Themes found in this passage are reflected in other lessons from the book of Proverbs. Of note, commendable traits such as business savvy, strength, and wisdom are explicitly associated with women, despite being stereotypically considered masculine. The content after verse 10 is explicitly structured as a poem.

Proverbs is best understood in context with the books of Ecclesiastes and Job. In Proverbs, “wisdom” is given in short, simple, general terms. Ecclesiastes represents wisdom based on observation and experience. This often shows how the general principles of the book of Proverbs don’t apply in absolutely every circumstance. Job represents wisdom based on the experience of suffering and injustice. All three come to the conclusion that God does indeed know best, and the most sensible course of action is to follow His will.