What does 1 Timothy 3:4 mean?
ESV: He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive,
NIV: He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.
NASB: He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity
CSB: He must manage his own household competently and have his children under control with all dignity.
NLT: He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him.
KJV: One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
NKJV: one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence
Verse Commentary:
This verse adds family qualifications to the expectations of an elder. In addition to the personal qualifications in verses 2 through 3, this verse implies that the elder must show reasonable control of his own home. "Household," as used here, refers to one's home, which could consist of a single person, a wife, children, servants, and extended family. A man seeking to be an elder, whatever his status, must first show he can lead his own family effectively.

Specifically, Paul included the concepts of dignity and obedient children. Fathers with children at home who wanted to serve as overseers must be able to lead their own children well. The next verse develops Paul's reason for this, using a rhetorical question to emphasize the importance of this command. As Titus 1:6 adds, "his children are believers" or literally "are faithful." Young children may not be able to express faith in Christ yet, but must be faithful to the family's faith in God.

Of course, no person is responsible for the sins or shortcomings of others. However, a man whose children show signs of unchecked rebellion, or a lack of discipline, is not qualified to become an elder. If a father lets his own children run rampant, how can he claim to be ready to guide others in the church?
Verse Context:
First Timothy 3:1–7 describes the requirements of church elders. Those who are placed in high leadership positions within the church are to be men of a good reputation, known for self-control and fairness, as well as have an ability to teach spiritual truths. They cannot be known as drunkards, bickerers, or prone to greed. Those who are married must demonstrate faithfulness to their wife and respectable control of their children. Paul also specifies that new converts cannot be elders: this presents a high risk of arrogance and failure.
Chapter Summary:
First Timothy chapter 3 expresses requirements for two different levels of church leadership. The first are ''elders'' or ''overseers.'' These men are to be experienced Christians, respectable, capable teachers, with a good reputation and a well-ordered family life. The second group are ''servants,'' or ''deacons,'' who share many of the same expectations. Unlike elders, however, deacons are not necessarily called on to teach. And, they are expected to be ''tested'' prior to taking on their role.
Chapter Context:
Chapter 3 concludes Paul's general statements about church structure and behavior. In chapters 1, 2, and 3, he has laid out some broad concepts which Timothy needs to enforce in his congregation. This chapter specifically deals with the qualifications for leaders, including both elders and deacons. The next chapters will transition to Paul's warnings about certain dangers lurking around the Christian church.
Book Summary:
First Timothy is one of Paul's three ''Pastoral Epistles.'' Paul's other letters, such as Romans, Ephesians, and Colossians, are meant for a broader audience. First Timothy, 2 Timothy, and Titus are written to specific people whom Paul is advising on how to best lead their local churches. These three letters present a close look at the form and function of church leadership. First Timothy, like 2 Timothy and Titus, is less formal and systematic, and more personal. This gives great insight into the way pastors, deacons, and elders ought to prioritize their time and energy.
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