What does Colossians 3:19 mean?
ESV: Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
NIV: Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
NASB: Husbands, love your wives and do not become bitter against them.
CSB: Husbands, love your wives and don't be bitter toward them.
NLT: Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.
KJV: Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
NKJV: Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
Verse Commentary:
Following his instruction to wives in the previous verse, Paul teaches husbands. Men are to show care, concern, and gentleness with their wives. Note that, in the prior verse, wives were given a single command. Here, husbands are given two.

First is the obligation to love their wives. A form of the Greek word agape is used here. This term indicates an unselfish, sacrificial love for another. The Bible is consistent in its portrayal of a proper husband-wife relationship (Ephesians 5:22-–33). Men are meant to be the leaders of the home. At the same time, there is no room in Scripture for husbands to be abusive or unfair. Nor is there anything suggesting male superiority: on the contrary, a properly functioning marriage should have the same kind of equality-with-submission found in the Trinity itself (Colossians 1:19; Philippians 2:6; Matthew 26:42; Luke 22:42).

Paul's second command is a direct counter to Colossae's prevailing attitudes about husbands and wives. In that time and place, women were not given equal value and representation in their culture. The culture of Paul's day told men that they had the power—and the right—to be domineering and severe to their wives. In fact, Paul uses the Greek term pikrainesthe, which implies bitterness, irritation, and frustration.

Women and men are equally created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). Paul elsewhere instructed husbands to live in kindness toward their wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it (Ephesians 5:25). Here, he commands men not to exasperate their wives, but rather care for them and treat them with kindness.
Verse Context:
Colossians 3:18—4:1 gives specific instructions from Paul for those living in Christian homes. This passage includes directions for husbands, wives, children, and servants. Paul makes a point of reminding believers not to merely ''get by'' with the bare minimum of what we are obligated to do. Rather, we should serve knowing that Christ is our ultimate judge. Paul also places ''masters'' under the same obligation to kindness and fairness as slaves and servants: both are equal in the eyes of Christ.
Chapter Summary:
In this chapter, Paul gives clear instructions to Christians about living out faith in Christ. Since believers have been saved by Christ, they should not participate in the sins which trap unbelievers. Sexual immorality, jealousy, slander, and revenge are not to be part of the Christian's life. Instead, believers ought to demonstrate compassion, humility, patience, and forgiveness. Above all, followers of Christ should show love. Paul also gives specific instructions for those living in Christian homes, including husbands, wives, children, and servants.
Chapter Context:
Prior chapters in Colossians emphasized the supremacy of Jesus, and the inferiority of worldly teachings. Paul's explanation of Christ as the ultimate authority, and the only source of truth, is key to understanding the difference between godly wisdom and worldly deceptions. In this chapter, Paul will apply those earlier ideas using practical instructions. This application runs through the beginning of chapter 4, which will end with various news about fellow Christian ministers.
Book Summary:
The book of Colossians describes Christ as superior to all other teachers, faiths, and philosophies. In this letter, written from prison, Paul once again tackles false teachings. Among these errors are claims that Christians need to give up all physical enjoyments, that they should worship angels, and that they need to rely on the wisdom of an elite few. These problems are consistent with an ancient heresy known as Gnosticism. In response, Paul explains that Christ is supreme, and sufficient for our salvation.
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